Mom>God

Mommy I miss you,
I regret every day which pass by and I can’t kiss you.
Your food is like a heavenly bliss,
I regret every day I give it a miss.
Sometimes you come in my dream,
You sit by my side, Sing me my favourite lullaby then fly away.
Sometimes I find you in the eyes of an old woman,
Who is waiting for her NRI son since 10 years now.
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Nevertheless,
You are the queen of my fairytale,
You make me feel like I am Christian Bale.
You are the best person I ever met.
Ok! Now my eyes are getting wet.
Mommy I miss you,
I regret every day which pass by and I can’t kiss you.

When I get into trouble, I don’t pray to God. Rather I close my eyes and picture the beautiful face of my mother. Just try it. It’s the greatest energy booster

Oh My Sachin!!!!

Every night when I go to bed I pray to God and picture a white light showering blessings on me. But the night Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar retired ( As people say. But I still do not believe it)something amazing happened. I went to bed expecting the same image but suddenly my mind went blank and I started hearing loud cheers Saaachin….Saaaachin. At one end of the ground there was Sudhir Gautham, who is now the brand ambassador of Quickrrr. Then the Master Blaster entered the park. He started off with his signature straight drive which went right past whining Waqar Younis.

*Time for people to think about the straight drive*

From there my dream took a time leap off to Sharjah to that night when one of the sweetest dream of a Sachin fan became the deadliest nightmare for Shane Warne, that superb inning of 143 runs  is  still regarded as the best ODI inning by Him.
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Who can forget the upper cut six on the last ball of the first over by Shoaib Akhtar at Centurion in 2003. On the day when Shoaib had an epiphany that, “Who Is The Daddy?”. 
*Time given to readers to impersonate Sehwag’s epic dialogue, “BAAP….. BAAP HOTA HAI  AUR BETA..BETA”
Then came that short span of sadness  when you decided to retire in 2007 after India was out of the world cup in the first round after a humiliating loss against Bangladesh.  But all thanks to Mrs. Tendulkar who beared all your frustration and convinced you not to give up and fulfill your dream of bringing  that world cup home, which you apparently did in World Cup 2011.
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In 2008 you spilled your magic again as the Australian team cried once again, this time on their mommy’s lap. All thanks to your two back to back magnificent  innings in the CB Tri-Series finals. Still cannot get over the scene when James Hopes  literally cried at Gabba after that loss.
“And it’s the Super Man from India”, who can forget that inning of 201 in Gwailor when you became the first cricketer on the face of the Earth to hit a double ton.
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After each of your superb inning in that dream, a tv commercial came when somtimes you told the secret of your energy and sometimes you gave a signature test with Reynolds Racer Gel. When I came to know MRF was a tyre company, I literally checked every vehicle in my house. We know that you are solely responsible for half the revnues of PepsiCo India and Star Sports network. Sorry I am a vegiterian so I didn’t start eating eggs and either way I didn’t wanted to be like that kid who crushes your hand in that NECC advert.
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Throughout your career you made the bowlers of opposition cry but that last inning  and last speech,” My life for 24 years between these 22 yards is hard to believe had come to an end”,made us cry.
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*Pagale ne poore India ko rula dia. Aisa koi karta hai kya?
Jao mujhe nahi dekhna ek bhi match India ka. Aab mein hockey dekhunga. Chak de India!!!. Waise who is the captain of the Indian hockey team? Sunil Chethri na.*#sarcasm

Tribute to God

Spoiler Alert: I tried to write a post on master blaster but then I realised that any combination of 26 letters will not be enough to describe the genius of Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar . Therefore, I wrote about the essence of his journey that he chased his dreams since the age of 11 and today it all ends from where it started. So chase your dreams guys. Enjoy this poem.

Apni khawishon ko chupa  kar tumhe kya milega
Apne sapano ko bhula kar tumhe kya milega
Dukh aur dard se bhara sanaata
Doston duniya toh tumhe rokegi hi
Par tum duniya jaise mat bano
Apne khawabon ka khoon apne haaton se mat karo
Apne sapano ke piche bhaago
Tumhara sapna tum hi pura kar sakte ho
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Bas puri mehnat se uske piche bhaago
Mein bhaag raha hoon
Aur maa kasam bada maza aa raha hai.
Aur  haan yeh bandha bhi 24 saal se apne sapon ke piche bhaag raha tha
But you know Gods never retire.
Take a bow master.
Thank you for inspiring us.

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Ram vs Ramu Kaka

Just tell me one thing if you regard God as the supreme being then why do Hindu mythology gives an opportunity to uncle pai and Ramanand Sagar to take the first mover advantage and make comic books and TV serials. Gods are just the comic characters of the past.  Rapist like Asaram use the name of God to turn himself into a buisness tycoon having net worth of 350 crore. Commercialisation of God is one aspect. The thing which irritates me the most that some narrow minded idiots use the name of God to preach violence and believe it or not communal violence is much bigger than terrorism or naxalism.
It’s so ironical that we worship Saraswati, the goddess of knowledge but we harass girls at schools, colleges and work place. We worship Laxmi, the goddess of wealth but still we have dowry deaths. We worship Durga, the goddess of power but forget about giving equal power to female sex, we kill the girl in the womb itself.

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Why do we need temples?? Understand a simple thing people
If you regard God as the supreme being who made you then why he needs your support to live or why He need your money. If you have a counter question to that the donated money is used for a good cause then you are mistaken because most of the time it is used to build another temple of God. We are donating truck lots of money for someone who we still don’t know exists or not. Rather, we can invest in health care and education of the poor.

So my ultimate message – This Diwali get over Ram and give happiness to your old Ramu Kaka and his son who is still struggling to get into a good school.

God’s Fool of the Day

Everyday I boarded the same monstrous bus which took me to a hell (college) . But today was a lucky day for me because  when I  reached the  stand a magic bus was waiting for me. A bus whose destination was my hometown, where a proud father and a worried  mother are waiting  since six months now. In the bus all the past memories came back to me. The last time I hugged my grandfather before leaving ,  taste of the local snacks and the kiss filled with mother’s love  Then the damn alarm started snoozing right in my ears  making me realize that it was just a dream and I am just another contestant of the heavenly game God’s Fool of the day.

A History class in 2035

Disclaimer:This is not a piece of fiction. I have time travelled to do this research.
Teacher: Open the archives page and click on the link The Battle Between #pappu and #feku.
Recently, Feku completed his 4th term as @PMOIndia. But his story from changing his twitter handle from @NaMo to @PMOIndia was a David and Goliath story but in reverse. In which Goliath as in Feku often regarded as Modi crushed Pappu often also known as Rahul. If we see the newspaper clippings
Class whispering: Hey dude what is this newspaper, forget all that have you seen the new porn movie Robo Porn. I dont know why these ministers fight and we have to read this shitty history.

*Virtual Teacher, teaching from home calms them down and starts again.*

Teacher:If we see the clippings for the newspaper at that time  will show how pappu’s insanity led to the downfall of his party Grossness. Historians say that more than Feku’s charm it was Pappu’s foolishness that helped the Feku party win the elections in 2014.
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From the accounts of Historian Ram Guha Jr.’s book it is believed that The Pappu family absconded to Italy after the humiliating loss where they started a new Indian restaurant with tagline,”India mein khaya ab Italy ko khilayenge.”  It seems that waitress training is coming in handy for papu’s mother. Papu’s brother-in-law was finally behind the bars charged with innumerable land grabbing cases. The desicion came after 20 years from the date on which case was filed. Former home minister SK Shinde was again demoted to the post of a peon in Maharashtra muncipality from where he started his career.The grandson of former HRD minister Sibbal, annoyed by his grandfather’s system of education CCE dropped out from school and started a whole new concept of Robotics Porn and our dear SMS worked as a mute budget calculator in finance ministry of India, before being called by Papu’s mother in Italy to work as Lassi vending machine at her restaurant in Italy. The common man is bored by his life as there is no excitement left in their lives because they have not seen a single scam for the last 20 years in Feku’s regime.

Sorry Sardar Patel, Feku tried to solve the  Kashmir issue but it was not solved because of his dictator like behaviour. YOU can read more about this in my next post “The Side Effects of MODI

What’s my fault???(english translation)

I may be a cute six year old or working 26 year old
It hardly makes any difference
I may be an innocent small town girl or a powerful high society creature
It hardly makes any difference
I am always bound to the same fate.
Sometimes I question the world that what’s my fault?
They remain silent and just comment that’s how India works.
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Some narrow minded bastards curse my attire for such monstorous acts.
Haunted by this fate Sometimes I prefer to die
And,sometimes I refuse to cry.
Mostly actors and politicians are monsters of my nightmares.
They leave the room laughing , leaving me in tears beneath the bed.

Stop blaming the victim.